Shall I look into the future?

Or shall I look into the past?

I no longer have determination to fulfill the promise i made under the moon on the beach that lonely night.

I no longer have the strength to walk on the path i used to walk.

I no longer own the soul that was living freely on the world once was colourful.

I no longer posses the body that was once dancing freely on the stage of life.

I no longer have the heart that was once a source of power to me.

What am I?
A living zombie with a rotten soul?
Or a soulless living creature?

I shouted to God,"Save Me!"

And He whispered, "No"


I met a person so determined in living his life when only he has no arms nor any legs.

I met a person who have great hope in life when only she travels in wheelchair.

I met a person who claimed he saw colourful world in his eyes that no longer shine.

I met a kid trying to live by searching food in the garbage landfill area.


What am i compared to them?


Shall I carry on and look into the future?

Or shall I let myself fade in the past?

But,
Why shall I look into the future or past when even I can't control my present time?

Or am I wrong?

Maybe I need a miracle.

But, who will save me?
Even God rejected to save me.


Today I saw the most beautiful rainbow in my life.



The rain stopped.
I looked into the sky, and i saw a rainbow.
In the rainbow, I saw myself.
I was smiling, laughing,playing.
And i saw another image, fading slowly as if it was a part of memory that was now disappearing slowly from my mind.

Will the rain in my heart stopped?
I don't know, i just knew that the rain had become lighter.


I asked God," Why don't you save me?"

And He said,"Because i don't need to."


Will I be able to see the Sun after the rain?



p/s: to those who not yet see the rising sun of their hearts.