Why did I feel strange?

Didn't I suppose to jump in joy?

Why did I feel nothing?


It was an anxious day.
The moment of waiting is a moment of fear and hope.
Fear of getting something bad and hope of getting something good.
The seconds were like years....
I sang in order to overcome my anxiousness...
alright, i know, my voice sucks....


To be truthful, I have high anticipation and expectation,
I mean, who didn't hope to get a good result?
But I never thought so much about it, just let it be, and accept any possible outcome with open heart...

And when the truth was finally revealed, I was stunned.
The moment of dream came true was astonishing yet i felt the flow of spring water in my heart.
It was like the whole world stopped and I had became the core of attention.
Well, i received my slip and tried to squeeze out the most natural smile to be caught on cameras.


Maybe others thought that I should be very happy to receive such a good result.
Maybe others thought that I would smile and laugh all the way home.

The strange thing is, I didn't strongly feel any of those feelings.
Yes, I am happy, but not very happy.
If it was the me receiving PMR result few years back, I would be enjoying myself for 3 days 3 nights.
But no, I didn't feel that now.
The result was just merely a compliment for my not-so-hardworking and an encouragement for me.

And I think many felt the same way, except that its 'compliment for hardworking' for them.

Why did I feel no great joy?
Why did I feel that it was just another 'something' in life?

But, What if it was me who didn't get good result?
Will I be torn in suffer?
Or will I get pass through it with my happy go lucky attitude?

It was strange.
Was it I who changed or was it the way it should be?

Man, i miss high school life.
Damn.


For my friends who got something less good, please dun be sad.
This isn't the end of the world, should be taking example from it and live on with greater encouragement and passion towards your dreams.